Dear Dave,,,
I wish you were here to help me right now.... everything feels so messed up again. Of course Mike and I couldn't do it, couldn't make it work. I just could use your advice, would you tell me to move on or tell me to keep trying? I want to have a family so bad, but I also want to feel happy inside... I don't know what to do, communication is non existent right now. I haven't told anyone that we are broke up again. I don't want to be embarrassed. Then if it did end up working, I would feel real stupid. But I highly doubt that is going to happen. I think it not working this time, is really sealing the deal. Its finalizing it all, and we can never go backwards. I feel this terrible emptiness inside, even though I know this is the best way. The entire time we were trying, I knew in my heart that I didn't want to be together. Even though I had to try again just to see. I still feel empty and sad. This is just so confusing to me, if I knew inside that this is the way it should be, then why do I feel this way?
I don't know... I do know that I miss you and wish you could tell me what to do, just come visit me and keep me company.... I'm lonely...