Gosh, been since September....
Lots been going on and changing... Gram's is with you now... I hope your spending time getting to know one another...
I am struggling with a major life choice I have to make in the next couple of months, ya know where your heart and brain are in a wrestling match...?? I feel like if I just rest on it, the answers will come to me...
Is it so horrible of me to not believe in god...?? I just can't understand how people can believe in talking snakes, a guy who lived in a whales belly or a man who built a giant boat all alone.... so if God is real then isn't Santa??? No one has ever seen either of these men with their own eyes??? I guess I will be going to hell then, but I don't believe in hell either, so I guess I am screwed, probably never die now... lol...
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Dear Dave,
Well, tomorrow is your 30th Birthday... oh how I wish you were here to celebrate it with me... I intended on having a party for you... Still having a little get together, but not gonna have too many people over... Some won't come because other people could possibly come, which is a bunch of crap, I mean, its not about this person or that person.. Its about you and our family, and showing us love and support... I've really been learning a lot about people lately and my tolerance for them... I know that no matter how long you've known someone or how deep your relationship may have gotten, you still really don't mean shit to some.. Why is that? Why do I care about these people so much then... ??? I am so sick of the ones who to your face say they care and love you, but go behind your back and talk shit, or the ones who just can't even tell you the truth... So sick of those who think they are better.. They run around with their fake face on, fake nails and fake hair, and then will down talk you or what you do..... F them all... I'm sure soon here, I'll be left with no friends, cuz I'm also being fake if I keep them around me when they disgust me so much... This too shall pass...
I love you Dave, Happy Birthday to you Bro
I love you Dave, Happy Birthday to you Bro
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Dear Dave,
so in the last couple of years, I've truely found out who some of my 'real' friends are... leaving me of course wondering who else out of the people I have left are 2 faced back stabbers. Then just yesterday, I found out some information that is making me loose another friend. This person,,,, I thought in my heart she was true, but knew in my guts that she really wasnt.... Funny, cuz in my face she has all the best intentions for me, but underneath, she is only down for others.... So, a few months ago I guess she was trying to hook my X up with another person.... I know all parties involved and if it would of went where this person wanted it to go, it could of ended our friendship right then and there.... Now I am forced to end it now....
I am seriously just gonna be alone with no friends, can't trust anyone any more.... Now I am stuck... ugh, why can't people just be real??? I mean, I think I am real.... I don't think I am a liar, or trying to hurt anyone... I don't think I ask that much of others....
I am seriously just gonna be alone with no friends, can't trust anyone any more.... Now I am stuck... ugh, why can't people just be real??? I mean, I think I am real.... I don't think I am a liar, or trying to hurt anyone... I don't think I ask that much of others....
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Dear Dave....
Just wanted to share my Mothers Day Poem that Simone wrote for me...
I am Somebody
I am the daughter of a woman who lives in Duluth, Minnesota, who has one sister and two brothers. She always had said never to judge others and to always be true to yourself.
I am somebody.....
I am the daughter of a man who believes that you should treat others the same way you want to be treated.
I am somebody....
I am the daughter of a receptionist for a salon who was the only child in her family to graduate from high school, and who is the mother of two children as alike as night and day.
I am somebody.....
I am the sister of a boy named Madix David Michael who is the best little brother in the world.
I am somebody....
I am the neice of a lady named Shannon who lived with me for a while with her husband and their dog named Isabell.
I am somebody....
I am the granddaughter of a woman who has two cats named Sylvester and Willa. She believes that you should always be healthy and fit.
I am somebody.....
I am the granddaughter of a man I don't know much about. My father and I have never met him, but we know that he is Hispanic.
I am somebody....
I am the great granddaughter of a woman that I don't get to see that often.
I am somebody....
I am somebody who loves to read and spend time with my family and friends... I am somebody who is good at origami and swimming.
I AM SOMEBODY....... <3
I am Somebody
I am the daughter of a woman who lives in Duluth, Minnesota, who has one sister and two brothers. She always had said never to judge others and to always be true to yourself.
I am somebody.....
I am the daughter of a man who believes that you should treat others the same way you want to be treated.
I am somebody....
I am the daughter of a receptionist for a salon who was the only child in her family to graduate from high school, and who is the mother of two children as alike as night and day.
I am somebody.....
I am the sister of a boy named Madix David Michael who is the best little brother in the world.
I am somebody....
I am the neice of a lady named Shannon who lived with me for a while with her husband and their dog named Isabell.
I am somebody....
I am the granddaughter of a woman who has two cats named Sylvester and Willa. She believes that you should always be healthy and fit.
I am somebody.....
I am the granddaughter of a man I don't know much about. My father and I have never met him, but we know that he is Hispanic.
I am somebody....
I am the great granddaughter of a woman that I don't get to see that often.
I am somebody....
I am somebody who loves to read and spend time with my family and friends... I am somebody who is good at origami and swimming.
I AM SOMEBODY....... <3
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Dear Dave,
wow, talk about feeling bi polar... lol... So I've had a perfectly great day, but outta no where, my whole inside changed from feeling good to feeling bad, in a split fricken second... Now I have been obsessing on why this happened to me... I do live a confusing life, but UGH.... I am at a block...
Don't even know what to write, cuz it all feels so stupid... Can ya tell me what the trigger was? I don't even know what the song was on the radio... But it was right after I picked up Simone crusing across 9th to go drop the games off, and it hit me... Not like Simone annoyed me, cuz I know it wasn't her... hmmmm...
Don't even know what to write, cuz it all feels so stupid... Can ya tell me what the trigger was? I don't even know what the song was on the radio... But it was right after I picked up Simone crusing across 9th to go drop the games off, and it hit me... Not like Simone annoyed me, cuz I know it wasn't her... hmmmm...
Monday, April 26, 2010
Dear Dave,,,
So, here I went again.. neglecting you... talking in my head to you too much... Been a weird crazy couple of weeks.... I am really starting to figure myself out... I am learning that I have no tolerence for a lot of things in people... I am weeding out the people who have either betrayed me in the past, or who are betrayers by nature... I have decided that I need to make the most of the important people, spend more time with them, and show them that I appreciate them,,, cuz any given day they could be gone... I am learning what I will and wont put up with and its not much I will put up with... I am learning that I am very real and genuine and that most are very lucky to have me in their lives, I am special... I am a rare person. Actually there is no one else like me... I tell it like it is,, I am not clingy or pushy and I dont lie. I will never mis lead anyone. I know that everyday should mean something, and that the 3 most important words are "I love you"...
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Dear Dave...
so... trying to get rid of an older blog I have, but I couldnt get rid of these posts..... so cutting and pasting them here in the new.... xo
2-13-2008
So remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, let them know. Don't be afraid to express yourself, or to reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you do decide that it is the right time, it might be to late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and especially family, for they have helped make you the person you are today.
4-13-2008
words to the wisers
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
4-26-2009
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and charming a soul.
You learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
You begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child.
You learn to build all your roads on today, because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you ask to much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
Then you learn that you are really strong and really do have worth.
You learn and you learn and with every goodbye you learn.
4-27-2009
UnHappy Girl
Unhappy girl, left all alone
playin solitude playin warden to your soul
you are locked in a prison of your own desire
unhappy girl tear your web away
saw thru all your bars melt your cell away
you are caught in a prison of your own devise
unhappy girl fly fast away
don't miss your chance to swim in a mystery
you are dying in a prison of your own demise
and you cant believe what it does to me to see you cry...
GB
Come in the silence of the night,
come in the silence of a dream
Come with round cheeks and eyes
as bright as a sunlight on a stream.
Come back in tears, a memory, a hope of finished years.
Dream how bitter sweet of waking in paradise,
where souls full of love meet,
and where thirsting longing eyes watch the slow door...
5-3-09
I
There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach.......
To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me.
Rather, I recognize that I live now and only now and I will do what I want to do this moment and not what I decided was best for me yesterday.............
5-12-09
Little Game
Once I had a little game
I liked to crawl back in my brain
I think you know the game I mean
I mean the game called go insane.
Now you should try this little game
just close your eyes, forget your name
forget the world forget the people
and we'll erect a different temple
This little game is fun to do
just close your eyes theres no way to lose
I'm right here and I'm going too................
2-13-2008
So remember to always say what you mean. If you love someone, let them know. Don't be afraid to express yourself, or to reach out and tell someone what they mean to you. Because when you do decide that it is the right time, it might be to late. Seize the day. Never have regrets. And most importantly, stay close to your friends and especially family, for they have helped make you the person you are today.
4-13-2008
words to the wisers
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his/her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands; one for helping yourself, and the other for helping others.
4-26-2009
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and charming a soul.
You learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, and you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises.
You begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman and not the grief of a child.
You learn to build all your roads on today, because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you ask to much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
Then you learn that you are really strong and really do have worth.
You learn and you learn and with every goodbye you learn.
4-27-2009
UnHappy Girl
Unhappy girl, left all alone
playin solitude playin warden to your soul
you are locked in a prison of your own desire
unhappy girl tear your web away
saw thru all your bars melt your cell away
you are caught in a prison of your own devise
unhappy girl fly fast away
don't miss your chance to swim in a mystery
you are dying in a prison of your own demise
and you cant believe what it does to me to see you cry...
GB
Come in the silence of the night,
come in the silence of a dream
Come with round cheeks and eyes
as bright as a sunlight on a stream.
Come back in tears, a memory, a hope of finished years.
Dream how bitter sweet of waking in paradise,
where souls full of love meet,
and where thirsting longing eyes watch the slow door...
5-3-09
I
There is a part of me that wants to write, a part that wants to theorize, a part that wants to sculpt, a part that wants to teach.......
To force myself into a single role, to decide to be just one thing in life, would kill off large parts of me.
Rather, I recognize that I live now and only now and I will do what I want to do this moment and not what I decided was best for me yesterday.............
5-12-09
Little Game
Once I had a little game
I liked to crawl back in my brain
I think you know the game I mean
I mean the game called go insane.
Now you should try this little game
just close your eyes, forget your name
forget the world forget the people
and we'll erect a different temple
This little game is fun to do
just close your eyes theres no way to lose
I'm right here and I'm going too................
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